I'm Not Fine
by IAmGlitterati
Summary: Every time Kurt says he's fine, Finn knows he's not. Worst. Summary. Ever. Sorry.
1. Chapter 1

_ At night, it was always the same dream. He's standing in the middle of the hallway at school, but nobody notices him. He cries out and yells and screams but they don't even flinch. The colors are muted, turning to gray. And then he can't hear, just a frightening silence, even when he can see the people's mouths moving. And it always happens, at the very end, that they begin to just walk right through him. He screams, but this time even he can't hear himself scream, and he wonders if he's even screaming at all. Light fades around him, until its just him in a silent, dark world, with no way out, no escape from it. _

Finn wasn't sure at first what woke him up. Then he heard it. A muffled cry from Kurt's bed. He got up, and stumbled across the room, large feet somehow managing to run into everything possible in the unnaturally clean room. Kurt was tangled in his sheets, a sheen of sweat breaking out on his forehead, hair sticking to his face. Silent tears streamed down his face as he thrashed about.

Finn cleared his throat. "Dude, wake up." He was somewhat discouraged by the lack of response. Kurt let out another cry, and Finn started to freak out. This couldn't be normal. He grabbed his almost-stepbrother's arms, pinning him still on the bed. "Dude! WAKE! UP!" Kurt's eyes twitched as he tried to escape from the horror of his nightmares. "Wakeupwakeupwakeup!" Kurt's eyes finally fluttered open, and Finn breathed a sigh of relief. "What was that about?"

Kurt eyed him warily, but his erratic breathing had calmed down. "Nothing."

Finn looked at him a moment. "Okay."

Kurt glanced down at his arms, still pinned to the bed by the larger teen. "Finn?"

"Oh." Finn let go. "Sorry." He pretended not to notice as Kurt turned away, attempting to furtively wipe tears off his face with his silk pajama sleeve. "...You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You know, you always say that."

Kurt stiffened. "Say what?"

"Say that you're fine."

There was a long pause, a silence that made Finn regret mentioning it. Kurt's voice, when he spoke, was quiet. "I say it because I am."

"Really?"

"Go to sleep, Finn Hudson, or I shall personally drown you in my face moisturizer."

Finn lay back down, and listened to Kurt's breathing slow down as he fell asleep. No matter what Kurt said, he knew there was something off with him.


	2. Chapter 2

Finn arrived at the choir room surprisingly soon the next day. At first glance he thought it was empty. Then he heard the piano. True, the first thought that ran through his head did involve something along suspiciously Brittany-like, involving a ghost conspiracy. But then he saw the designer-clad teenager, eyes closed, fingers flying across the keys and weaving an enchanting melody. The lights in the room weren't yet on, and squares of clear November sunlight were cast onto the floor, tiny spirals of dust dancing in the light rays. The corners of the polished black piano gleamed in the sunlight, and one thin thread of sunlight fell down across Kurt's face, a golden slice cutting across his pale, porcelain features. Finn felt bound in place, as though by an spell, the enchanting music winding around him and keeping him there.

As he listened, the music seemed to change. Before, it had been a lighthearted song, just a small pleasantry. But a darker, somber undertone began to infiltrate the notes, and Kurt's eyes opened, forcing Finn to dive back behind the shadow of the door for fear of being caught listening. Finn began to feel uneasy as the music finished its worrying transformation. Finn honestly didn't know that pianos could sound like they where depressed and in pain. He took a deep breath and leapt through the door before he could turn back. Thankfully, the music stopped. Not so thankfully, Kurt glared at him.

"Hey Kurt."

"How long where you lurking out there?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Finn Hudson..." Kurt broke off as the door banged open and the rest of the Glee Club trailed in. Finn breathed a sigh of relief, and tried to ignore Kurt's glare.

"Alright guys." Mr. Schue paused a moment, waiting for everybody to settle down into their respective seats. "I figured out another song that could definitely win us some real points at this year's sectionals."

Finn looked down at the sheet music that had just been handed to him. _For Good? _Wasn't that the song...he glanced down at Kurt, watching as the shorter boy's eyes grew unnaturally wide. It was the song. The song that Burt had confided in Finn that Kurt listened to whenever he was missing his mom. Finn grinned. At least Kurt would finally get to perform it. But the grin was wiped from his face as soon as his girlfriend spoke up.

"For Good?" Rachel practically squealed. "I adore this song!"

Finn didn't miss the dirty glare Kurt directed at the girl.

"Awesome Rachel, go for it!" Mr. Schue turned around, ready to discuss something with Brad the Piano Player, or Tinkles, as Finn now thought of him.

"Mr. Schue!" Everyone jumped at Kurt's sudden outburst.

Mr. Schue rubbed his head, and it was obvious he was re-living the Britney Spears disaster in his mind. "What is it, Kurt?" He asked warily.

"For Good is a _duet, _Mr. Schue, not a solo!" He cast a glance around the room, looking disdainfully at a shell-shocked Rachel. "If you give it just to Rachel, it will be absolutely _ruined." _

"Kurt!" Mr. Schue sounded shocked. "Rachel has a beautiful voice, she won't _ruin _it."

"Mr. Schue, I respect your decision, but honestly, it is, and always has been, a duet. I guess what I'm asking..." He paused a moment, gathering courage. "...could I maybe sing part of it? Make it the duet it's supposed to be? I really, _really_ want this!"

Mr. Schue sighed. "Kurt, last time we tried this, it was obvious you couldn't hit all the notes you swore you could. I really can't trust you to not let us down at the last minute. I'm really, truly sorry."

"But Mr. Schue-"

"Fine! I'll make it a duet!" He paused a moment. "Quinn!" The cheerleader looked up, startled. "You and Rachel! Together, make it work for this song! Sorry, Kurt."

Kurt just gaped at him for a moment. When he next spoke, his voice was strangely quiet. "Fine." He stood up, grabbed his bag, and marched out the door without looking back.

"Kurt!" Mr. Schue called after him, but to no response.

_Its becoming like his dream. When he tries to protest, tries to stand out, nobody notices. He wants to make it big in New York City, wants his picture on large posters, so people can't ignore him. It used to be Glee was the place where he wasn't ignored, where he was listening to. But now, it seemed just like his nightmare. He was trapped by himself, with no way out of the glass cage that separated him from everyone else, that separated him from the life he wanted. _


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry about the long wait. I'm sort of mad at myself for getting so far behind on this story, so...major warning, I sort of MIGHT HAVE taken it out on poor dear Kurt...I'm a bad person. Read and Review, please!**

Carol caught Finn's arm as he was passing through the kitchen on his way down to the bedroom after Glee. "Finn, I saw Kurt earlier. He seemed upset…do you know what's bother him?"

Finn evaded her worried glance. "I dunno…" he mumbled. "Where is he now?"

"In his room, I think. He's been there for the past two hours; hasn't come out at all." She let go of his arm.

"Where's Burt?"

"Still at the shop. Finn.." She turned back to the stove, to tend to dinner. "Finn, just promise me you'll try to find out what's bother him?"

"Yeah." Finn thumped down the basement stairs. "Hey Kurt?" The lights were off, but a faint glow emanated from the computer screen in the computer, illuminating the silhouette of Finn's stepbrother. "Kurt?"

He hesitantly placed a hand on Kurt's shoulder. "You okay, man?"

Kurt jumped and hurriedly minimized whatever window he had had open on the computer monitor. "Yes." His voice seemed to catch in his mouth. "I'm fine, Finn. It's just been a long day." He made to stand up and walk away, but as he left, Finn caught him around the wrist.

"Kurt, seriously, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said, evading Finn's gaze.

"Dude, you were _freaking out_ last night. And then today-"

Kurt glanced up with a wry smile and cut him off. "-I thought we agreed to never speak of that again unless you want a mouthful of moisturizer."

"Sorry, sorry, sorry." Finn held up his hands in mock defeat, then changed the tone of his voice back to a note of seriousness. "But people are worried about you, man. Like the Glee Club and them."

Kurt shook his head. "No. They're not."

"Kurt-!"

Kurt abruptly stood up, shaking off Finn's hand. "I'm going for a walk. I'll be back in an hour or so." And he climbed the stairs, the door swinging shut silently behind him, leaving a worried Finn behind in the Dior-grey room.

_He's always loved walking in the cold. Whenever it snowed when he was younger, his mother would go out with him, crafting moments and capturing them forever in the sense of cold air on skin. _Kurt walked up the street, his breath freezing in the November air. Frosty leaves crunched underneath his shoes, and the evening sky above was perfectly clear, the white light of stars fighting for control over the yellowish light of the street lights. Darkness was coming sooner as the days grew shorter, and, surrounded by the darkness, Kurt got the uneasy feeling that he _was_, indeed, becoming invisible to the world.

He leaned back against a light pole, feeling the cold metal chill him through his Balmain jacket. Suddenly, he became aware of approaching footfalls…just before a hand covered his mouth and he was dragged off the sidewalk and through the hedges lining it.

"'Sup, Hummel?" A deep voice breathed in his ear, making chills skitter up his spine. _Karofsky. _

Kurt tried to speak, but a deep-rooted fear shoved the words back down his throat. He struggled in the jock's hold, only managing to scrape up his back on the rocky, cold dirt under the brittle flower bushes.

Karofsky tightened his grip on Kurt's arm and mouth, and dug a knee into Kurt's groin, a twisted, deranged, grimacing smile decorating his face as Kurt writhed in pain. "Hummel, let's get one thing straight. Make one noise and…" He increased pressure on Kurt's groin once more. "Understood?"

Kurt shuddered, feeling tears gather at the edge of his eyes. "Good," Karofsky purred, in a sickeningly sweet voice, letting go of Kurt's mouth. "You know, a funny thing about you Hummel." He leaned closer over Kurt, who struggled to crawl out from under the larger boy. "You drive me mad but its…intoxicating." Kurt bit back a cry as Karofsky's hand landed on his chest, slowly undoing button-by-button of his Balmain jacket.

"Get off," he whispered, tears trailing down his porcelain face now. His voice was thick with fear. "Get off me."

Karofsky let his hand trail downwards towards the zipper of Kurt's skinny jeans. "Remember our agreement, Hummel?" He questioned threateningly. Kurt trembled and clamped his mouth shut, feeling the cold November air hit bare skin, feeling the touch of a boy he despised, feeling the sharp rocks stabbing at his now-bare back.

As he struggled in the frozen dirt, Karofsky pressed against him, hot breath that smelled of Doritos blowing on his neck, making him shudder, Kurt's world began to fall apart, and all he could do was look up at the blackness, the tiny specks of light so far away, and wish, for once, _he could become invisible. _


	4. Chapter 4

**So I'll hopefully be able to update more quickly now because my laptop is FINALLY back in working order...but remember guys...reviews DO help me continue the story quicker! ;)**

Kurt didn't know how long he lay under the frozen, brittle bushes, watching as clouds began to coat the dark sky in gray, feeling the cold mist beginning to cover his bare skin as the clouds opened, praying that the rain would wash away the memory of Karofsky's body on his.

He could hear cars passing by on the other side of the hedge, headlights illuminating the interlocked branches that trapped him where he was, separated from the world. Above him, the sky lightened, the clouds beginning to disperse, fingers of sunlight infusing the sky with a rosy pale color. It was only a matter of time before school started, before his family woke up to find him not there.

He closed his eyes. They couldn't find out about this. _It never happened. _ Mercedes couldn't. Finn couldn't. Carol couldn't. _It never happened. _His dad couldn't. _Just a dream, a crazy nightmare. _

He opened his eyes and, wincing, pushed himself up into a sitting position. _The pain isn't real…it never happened. _He cursed his shaking hands as they struggled to zip his skinny jeans, banishing the memory of Karofsky. He pulled his jacket over his bare shoulders and chest, frowning slightly when he felt the torn-up back section of it from where it had caught over rocks.

Barely anybody passed him by as he walked home, something he was incredibly thankful for. Nobody was yet awake in his house yet, so he snuck quietly down into the basement, changed into his silk pajamas, and slid under the covers, and lay with one eye open, waiting for the alarm to go off in two minutes. He could swear he'd been home all night. _It never happened._

The alarm buzzed suddenly, startling Kurt. He struggled to regain control of his breathing as Finn yawned and sat up, blinking.

"Hey." Kurt pretended to be jolted awake by Finn's exclamation. "When did you get home?"

"Last night…"

"Dude, I was up until MIDNIGHT!"

"I found myself with an urge to stay out and buy Christmas presents."

"…Christmas presents? At midnight?"

Kurt sat up, threw back the covers, and shrugged delicately. "While I'm not religious, I _do _enjoy the holiday…at least, when decorations have some class beyond light-up plastic snowmen. And yes, I can obsessive about finding the perfect present."

"Okay…" Kurt bit his lip as Finn screwed up his face, obviously deciding upon Kurt's alibi. _Nothing happened. I went out looking for Christmas presents. I didn't see anybody else when I was out. I didn't see Karofsky. Karofsky didn't…NO! It never happened. _"Dude! Is my Christmas present awesome?"

Kurt felt himself relax, as the secret of the night became buried deeper and deeper under layer of layer of believable lies. _Truths. _"Yes, Finn…now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get ready for school."

"Just a warning, dude, but mom and Burt are probably going to be waiting upstairs to interrogate you."

"Thanks for the warning, Finn," Kurt sighed, and began to trudge up the stairs to face the inquisition.

* * *

Kurt had been able of the day, he felt a sense of relief as he realized all he had to make it through now was Glee. As he lifted a hand to put away his French textbook, a shadow fell over him. He swirled around, heart pumping madly, to face Karofsky. _It never happened. _

"Did you tell anyone?" The jock growled.

Mutely, Kurt shook his head. _It never happened. _

"Good…because if you do…" A hand was placed on his chest, slowly trailing down his chest, growing heavier as more pressure was applied, stopping just below his navel. "Do I make myself clear, Hummel?"

Kurt nodded furiously, forcing himself to open his eyes again, which had closed during a moment of pure fear. He watched as the jock smirked and turned around, lumbering away down the hall. His hands were shaking, and his breathing was fast and furious. Barely-restrained sobs caught in his throat as he slid down the lockers, until he was folded up on the tile floor, his body trembling. _It did happen. _The truth hit him like a punch to the gut, and he could feel himself break to pieces, like a glass window that has had a slowly-spreading spider web crack before it shatters into a thousand crystalline pieces.

All around him people walked by, the noise of the conversations in the hall just a low buzz to his ears. He saw the feet go around him, but not one person looked down. Not one person saw him. He wanted to say something, to catch someone's attention, but his breath caught in his throat. He pushed himself back up on shaky legs, swiping a hand across his tearing eyes.

"Kurt?"

He turned around to see two people gazing at him…the recognizable forms of the blonde cheerleader and tiny brunette. "Quinn. Rachel." He greeted, praying his voice didn't quiver.


	5. Chapter 5

**I finished an entire chapter in 1 day...see what happens when you guys review and inspire me? Thanks a bunch to everyone that reviewed on the last chapter :) Keep 'em coming and I'll keep updating as fast as i can! :)**

Quinn took a step closer and reached out to lay a hand on his shoulder. "Is it Karofsky again?" He smoothed out the expression on his face, fighting the urge to bend away from her touch.

"No."

"Really?"

Kurt nodded his head hurriedly and turned his face away from the two girls, instead looking into the depths of his locker as if searching for something. "Yes. I'm fine." _Lies. _

He felt the two girls searching gazes sweep over him. "Come on," Quinn said, threading an arm around the back of his neck, "we're going to be late for Glee." As they walked down the hall, he couldn't help but check every dark corner, inside every classroom. But he still felt strangely safe in between the two girls, no matter how short Rachel was.

When they entered the choir room, everyone else was already there. Kurt dropped his gaze hastily, not wanting to meet anyone's eyes. Rachel veered off to sit by Finn, and Quinn removed her arm from around Kurt's neck. He felt cold and alone suddenly, without the two bodies pressed against him on either side, the ghost weight of Quinn's arm still infusing his neck with warmth. He forced himself forward, staring at the ground as he made his way to a chair in the back of the room.

"Alright guys!" Mr. Schue clapped his hands noisily, causing Kurt to jump slightly. Finn saw this and narrowed his eyes slightly. What was _up _with Kurt? "Quinn and Rachel! Are you ready to perform your duet yet?"

"We…well, we sort of haven't practiced much yet…" Rachel murmured, and Finn noticed her gaze flicker in Kurt's direction sympathetically.

"Give us a little longer, Mr. Schue," Quinn chimed in, as she too glanced towards the petite, porcelain-skinned boy sitting quietly in the back of the room, head tucked down to his chest.

Mr. Schue looked between the two of them. "…alright," he said finally. "Well, then, we can use today's meeting for Mike to teach us some of he dances he choreographed for us to use at competitions. Everybody up!"

There was the general muttering and seconds of mass confusion as everybody figured out where to place themselves in order to not result in the flailing of limbs and major injuries. Through the chaos of Glee Clubbers, Finn noticed Kurt, arms wrapped around himself protectively, wincing slightly as he seemingly hid behind Puck and Sam in the back.

"Dude," Finn hissed.

Kurt looked at him, and for a moment Finn could've sworn he saw a flash of panic cross the smaller boy's face before it was replaced with the normal, calm, collected expression it always held. "What, Finn?" He asked, the usual tone of exasperation coloring his voice.

"You look sort of-" Finn sighed as the music started, cutting him off, and soon he had forgotten about Kurt, instead concentrating on the steps, working to keep his gangly legs from tangling together awkwardly.

* * *

Kurt concentrated on the steps, a miserable feeling settling over him as he stumbled in areas he had practiced perfectly several times before. It was like he was in a foggy dream, movements thick and slow, dull aching pains crawling up and down his limbs. He tried to focus on the dance, tried to concentrate on Mike's movements ahead of him. But then he saw _him. _Through the window the choir room door, the red letterman jacket became visible. He felt as if he might become sick. Then Karofsky _winked_. Kurt's head spun dizzily. _It DID happen._

The world seemed to blur at the edges, and Kurt stumbled, slamming bodily into Puck's thick torso.

"Hummel! What the hell?" The words that poured from Puck's mouth barely reached his ears as the world started to turn around him, the memory of a different body pressed up against him enveloping him. He stumbled back, the walls closing in on him, Puck's body _too close, too close, too close_.

A hand reached out too steady him _to grab him _but he couldn't tell if it was Puck's _or Karofsky's. _He scrambled backwards, tripping and falling, his fellow Glee Clubbers' words blending together in a maddening buzz. He _can't take it anymore. _He forced himself to his feet, feeling his legs trembling violently under him. A hand clenched around his arm, to steady him. _To hurt him._

He screamed something, he didn't know what, yanked his arm from the person's hold, and turned, running blindly for the exit. He ran down the hallway, floor swaying beneath him as the world spun dizzily, a buzzing in his ears, a dream world.

* * *

"Hummel! What the hell?" Finn turned around at Puck's voice, frowning slightly when he saw Kurt stumble into Puck. Suddenly, the smaller boy made a strange noise, a sort of gasping sob, and stumbled back, swaying. Puck lunged forward, and put a hand on his shoulder, trying to steady him. Kurt cried out, and scrambled backwards, and for the first time, Finn could see his face. On it was etched pure terror. Kurt glanced wildly around the choir room, tears streaming down his face, breath coming in short gasps. Mr. Schue yelled something unintelligible at the Glee Club grouped around Kurt, and attempted to push past them. Sam grabbed Kurt's arm and murmured something into the shorter boy's ear.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" The yell was abnormally loud in the choir room, Kurt's voice cracking on the last word. Sam lurched back as though stung, and Kurt stood a millisecond, his eyes wide and glazed over with panic, breathing wild and erratic. Then, he lunged for the door, flying down the hallway and out of sight.

"Kurt!" Finn bellowed, shaking off Rachel's tight hold on his arm. "Kurt!" He jogged over to the classroom door, looking out at the now empty hallway. Someone gave him a slight shove on the back, and, without looking back, took off running down the hallway, searching for his stepbrother. _He should have known something was wrong._

Kurt tumbled into a supply closet, drawing himself up into a ball. _They can't know. They shouldn't know. _He felt a wetness sliding down his cheek, and he tried to stifle his choked sobs in the fabric on his , he heard faint footsteps coming closer, and he stiffened, trying to sink into the wall behind him. _Don't come in. Don't come in. Don't see me like this. _

The door cracked open, letting the light from the hallway flood the small, dark closet. Kurt closed his eyes. _Go away. You can't see me; I'm invisible. _

"Kurt?"

"Kurt?" Finn asked, looking down at the small teen curled in the corner of the supply closet. He resisted the urge to leave, resisted the urge to abandon things when they got too deep, too awkward. Instead, he knelt slowly in front of Kurt. "Kurt."

The boy glanced up, and Finn felt a thousand kinds of guilt pile up in his stomach as he looked at the wide, green-blue eyes, shiny with tears. Finn stretched out an arm gently and placed it on Kurt's shoulders. He regretted the action as soon as he did it, feeling Kurt's entire body tense and tremble slightly.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said, as gently as he could, and carefully pulled his frightened stepbrother into a loose hug. Kurt's breathe hitched for a minute, then he relaxed into the hug, tears still sliding down his porcelain face. Outside, someone passed by, a student leaving after after-school detention, and Kurt drew back from the halfway open door, pressing against Finn's side. "It's okay," Finn promised, wrapping his arms more securely around the other boy.

* * *

"What happened?" Finn glanced over at Kurt, whose hands were practically strangling the sides of his chair as Mr. Schue started his interrogation.

"What do you mean?' Kurt asked, and Finn could detect the slight shake in his voice.

Finn leaned towards Kurt slightly. "Was it Karofsky?" He asked.

Kurt glanced down at the carpeted floor.

"Kurt." Mr. Schue crouched down next to the chair where Kurt sat. "Was it?"

"…Yes." It came out a small whisper.

"What did he do?"

Kurt glanced up, a trapped look on his face.

_Did you tell anyone….No….Good, because if you do…_

"Just…" Kurt took a breath and looked down at his knees again. "Just shoved me around a bit. Nothing serious." The lie was obvious in his voice.

"Kurt." Mr. Schue made eye contact with the boy in question. "Tell the truth."

"Nothing…nothing happened." _Lies. _ Kurt stood up abruptly, brushing off his sweater. "…I have to go." Finn and Mr. Schue were left looking after the boy as he slipped out of the office, furtively wiping tears from his eyes.

"Find out the truth." Mr. Schue's voice was grave.

Finn glanced up, and nodded. "I'll try."

**Please review to keep me motivated!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry about the LOOONG delay in updates! So, so sorry. I'll try to never let it happen again. But thanks to all that reviewed last chapter; I love you guys! Read and Review, please!**

Kurt sank into the couch, looking at the chaos of luggage cluttered about in the foyer, Burt and Carol checking off lists and laying down ground rules to the two boys. Finn bounded between the house and Burt's truck, dragging behind him the two adults' belongings, preparing for Carol and Burt's long weekend away together.

"-and, Kurt, don't let Finn near the oven-" Carol called out, interrupting Burt's yelled instructions of how to get his suitcase to fit in the truck. Kurt felt a smile creep onto his face at the mental image of what caused this rule to become necessary.

Finn barreled into the house once more, the door slamming shut behind him, the cold wind infiltrating the foyer and living room. "Everything is packed," he proclaimed, before throwing his arms around his mom. "I'm going to miss you," he muttered begrudgingly. When he released her, Burt clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll take good care of your mom. In return…take good care of Kurt."

Finn nodded. "I will." He glanced back at Kurt, lounging on the couch. "Hey Kurt!" Kurt started and looked up at him. "Come say goodbye, dude. They're leaving!"

Kurt stood and brushed invisible dust off his shirt, plastering a fake smile on his face. "Have a good time, Carol," he said, wrapping his arms around his stepmother in a quick half-hug.

"What about me?" Burt asked, a joking tone in his voice.

"You have a good time, too, Dad." Kurt bit his lip as his dad wrapped his arms in a bear hug around him, trying to remind himself _it was just his dad. _He tried to keep his breathing controlled, and forced himself to relax into the hug, praying for it to be over soon. "Oh, and…" He pulled away, trying to hide his relief. "Remember, absolutely no salt. You have to keep looking out for your health."

Burt grumbled good-naturedly. "Fine, fine. Well, if you're done nagging me…we'll be off." With an arm around his wife, he stepped out into the cold. He paused a moment, then turned around. "Kurt, make sure you get some rest. You've been looking a little worn lately." The door shut behind them, and Kurt watched as the two of them made their way over to the truck, arms wrapped around each other, Burt looking intently, lovingly, at Carole. And Kurt suddenly felt a cold feeling settle in his chest, remembering when it was him that his father would wrap his arms around, and he couldn't help but feel as if he was slowly being forgotten.

He was broken out of his reverie by Finn's loud whoops of joy. "Kurt!" Finn barreled into the room, clutching an envelope. "Guess what they left us?"

Kurt shook off the slight feeling of despair, and instead glanced back at the vase Finn had knocked off a table in his excitement. "Hopefully insurance," he deadpanned.

"No!" Finn practically shouted, the insult lost on him. "Money! For a tree! For Christmas! To decorate!"

"...wouldn't it be simpler to call it a Christmas tree?" Kurt asked, crossing his arms and arching an eyebrow at the taller teen.

"Enough talk! Let's go!" Kurt ducked to avoid the coat that was thrown at him, then regretted this decision as the Burberry coat hit the floor. "To the car!" Finn yelped, bounding at the door. "Come on!" Kurt sighed, and scooped up the coat, whispering a mental apology to it, before racing to join Finn in the car.

* * *

"That one?"

"No."

"But it's fluffy!"

"Exactly, Finn. Fluffy is not exactly the tree equivalent of beautiful."

"Fine. We'll just continue looking." Finn sighed, and gave the fluffy tree a sympathetic pat. "How about you look through those trees, and I'll look through these here?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Fine. But no more monster, mutant fluffy ones." He left his stepbrother eyeing yet another tree monstrosity, and made his way through the maze of pine trees, tucking his face into the collar of his coat, a futile attempt to stop the cold air from making his nose turn a bright pink. Christmas music blared over the tree lot, and he felt himself relaxing, wandering in this artificial forest.

"Hummel." Kurt froze in place. _Please no please no please no. _ "Saw you and your boyfriend back there." A smudge of dark humor tinged Karofsky's voice as he stepped out from behind a tree.

"Go away." Kurt cursed his voice as it trembled.

"Gonna call Finn if I were to do…something? Gonna scream like a little fag?" Kurt flinched away as Karofsky took a step closer, his face menacing in the descending darkness. "You know who I ran into earlier?"

Kurt didn't respond, just stood frozen, his mind swirling in a jumble of terrified and panicked thoughts.

"I ran into Sam Evans."

Kurt closed his eyes, feeling his heart race. _No._

"You know, he said some pretty funny things. He told me I had to leave you…alone. Now, why would he say anything like that?" Karofsky's breath was hot on Kurt's neck, and Kurt's eyes flew open, immediately drawn to the stormy depths of the larger jock. "Can you think of a reason?"

Karofsky's eyes bore into Kurts with the look of a predator preparing to make a death strike, and Kurt moved to stumble back, but his motion was stopped by a hand wrapped around his throat with an uncomfortable amount of pressure.

"Remember…I told you what would happen if you told?" Kurt, eyes still locked on Karofsky's, nodded hard, feeling himself trembling. "Well…that threat no longer stands."

Karofsky drove Kurt backwards, his hand tightening around the smaller teen's throat. "You tell anyone…" Karofsky lowered his voice to a whisper. "…I'll kill you."

"HEY!" Finn's loud voice rang out over the tree lot, and Karofsky let go of Kurt.

"'Sup, Hudson?"

Finn narrowed his eyes in reply. "I think it would be best if you left right now."

"Why? Sticking up for your _boyfriend_?"

"No! I-" Finn sighed. "Just leave now, Karofsky. And stay the hell away from Kurt."

Karofsky took a moment to glance between the two stepbrothers. "All right." He took a step back, hand in the air in mock surrender. "I'll go." He turned and began to walk away. "Oh, and fairy?" He called over his shoulder. "Be sure to remember our little chat."

Finn glanced towards Kurt, and saw him still frozen in place, tears trembling on the tips of his lashes. "Hey Kurt…are you…are you okay?"

Kurt didn't respond, the tears still falling silently down his face. "…I'm fine…" He finally forced out, his voice trembling.

_Bullshit, _thought Finn. He wrapped an arm around Kurt. "Come on. I think I've found a non-fluffy tree. Let's get it home." As he tightened his hold on the shorter boy, he resolved to figure out a way to help Kurt. No matter what.


	7. Chapter 7

**Aaaargh. Please don't kill me for the brutal wait! And for the shortness of this chapter...I blame it all on a combination of writers block/Christmas madness/studying for exams. I know it's no excuse but...I'm trying to avoid being killed, so...yeah. And I solemnly swear, I shall attempt to update at LEAST once per week from now on. Thanks to all my reviewers; love you guys! So, read and review, and if there is not another chapter posted by next Monday, you may personally kill me.**

* * *

Finn glanced at Kurt, silently putting ornaments on the tree. The whole way home, he had tried to ignore Kurt's trembling, how Kurt's breath caught every time Finn moved. And now, Kurt hadn't spoken a single word, and turned away Finn's offer of organic hot chocolate, and instead was absorbing himself into the task of decorating for the holidays, but even Finn could tell he wasn't yet at ease again.

"It's done." Kurt announced, stepping back from the tree, which now looked like a professional store display. Finn took a step towards it. "Touch it, Frankenteen, and you die," Kurt warned as he sank down onto the couch, suppressing a yawn.

Finn glanced at him, then sat down in the armchair. "Is it okay if I watch Christmas movies?"

"It's fine, Finn…" Kurt murmured, his eyes shut as he sprawled across the couch, slowly fading into sleep.

* * *

_It was happening again, but the world seemed darker, the edges blurring outward into infinity. The streetlamp was dimming, yet the shadows of the brittle twigs were sharper; more pronounced. The cold ground pressed against his back, designs of icicles forming in the dark, strangely-warm air around him. He wanted to scream, but he couldn't. An invisible bond woven around his mouth. Karofsky's face was above his, leering down, holding him paralyzed in fear. A fiery hot hand pressed down on his chest, and he looked down, seeing paper-thin cracks spreading from where the hand pressed down, forming a sort of spider web pattern across his pale chest, breaking him apart slowly, agonizingly, the pressure increasing on his chest as the cracks spread. _

_

* * *

_

Finn was halfway through Polar Express when Kurt started whimpering in his sleep. He stood up, crossing the room until he stood above Kurt's sleeping form.

"Dude. Wake up." There was no response, only an increase in Kurt's soft cries. Finn reached down to shake him awake, but the second his hand touched him, the boy jerked with a cry.

"Stop." Kurt's voice was barely a whisper. "Stop. Please."

Finn reached out to shake him awake again, but paused, unsure. "Kurt!" He whispered softly.

"_Stop." _Kurt moaned, curling in on himself.

"Kurt, seriously, wake up!" Finn placed a gentle hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" The yell was loud, shattering the stillness of the quiet, seemingly-cheerful house, hanging heavy in the air, a dark stain. Finn opened his mouth to try and wake the boy again, but the sleeping Kurt beat him to it again. _"Please…..please stop!" _ He whimpered, and as he twisted around, Finn saw the sweat beading on his forehead, locks of brown hair sticking to it.

"Kurt!" Finn half-shouted, grabbing the teen again and shaking him.

Kurt started awake, panting slightly. He took in Finn standing before him, and blinked, confused and slightly disoriented. "…What..?"

Finn shifted guiltily and wouldn't meet his eye. "I…um…"

Kurt sighed. "Finn, what's this about?"

"I…" Finn sighed and rubbed his eyes wearily. "I…just wanted to know if you wanted me to order out for dinner."

Kurt fixed him with a curious gaze, a slight flicker of relief and, at the same time, dread, lurking in his bluish-green eyes. Then, finally, after a long, pregnant pause, he shrugged. "No. I'm not hungry." He stood up, trying to covertly rearrange his hair. "I'll be downstairs in my room if you need me."

Finn watched the boy's receding back, then took a deep breath. "Kurt! Wait!"

"What?" Kurt turned around, and Finn felt slightly guilty at the deep dread waying down his tone.

"What did Karofsky do to you?"

Kurt glanced around the room for an escape. "You were there," he finally mumbled.

"What?"

"At the tree place. You saw."

Finn strode forward, his face less than a foot from Kurt's. "No, I didn't see," He said quietly. "That shouldn't have shaken you up that bad. What did he do _before_?"

Kurt glanced up, and Finn saw his lips trembling. "Why do you want to know?" He whispered.

"Kurt….just tell me now, or I'll find out anyway." Finn threatened.

"He did _nothing._" Kurt insisted. "Now can I leave?"

Finn sighed again, and nodded, watching as the boy descended into his room. As soon as the door shut behind him, Finn raced over to the kitchen, grabbing his cell phone off the table. Hands shaking, he dialed a number, waiting impatiently for the person to pick up.

"Mr. Schue? I know what Karofsky did to Kurt."

* * *

***Dramatic music* Yeah, the dream sequence WAS bit much... FYI, I have another story (a one-shot) that I'll hopefully be posting soon, so check in on that when I get it posted, and I'm thinking of getting a Twitter? What do you guys think? Should I? So yeah, thanks for reading! Love you guys!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Second to last chapter, probably. And...I did it! I published it before Monday! Technically. Yes, it's less than an hour until midnight. But still...you get the point. Shout out to _Brooke-Linn_ and _dbz27 _for their nice messages! Now, shall we get on to the story? Yes? Very well then!**

* * *

"Finn….it's a serious accusation." Mr. Schue's voice floated through the phone, hesitation and skepticism in every syllable.

"Yeah, it is!" Finn shot out heatedly. "And that's why somebody needs to do something about Karofsky!"

"How can you be sure about it, though?"

"I.." Finn sighed and looked around, fingers clenching and unclenching around the phone. "I just _know._"

"Finn, I _might_ believe you, but you know that no action can be taken on the word of someone who didn't even witness it. They need proof."

Finn groaned and sank into a chair at the table. "Mr. Schue…."

"Finn, why are you calling me?"

Finn was taken aback. "What?"

"I mean, why aren't you talking to your mom, or to Burt? They can help more than I probably can."

"They're not home; they're on vacation together," Finn said testily. A sudden noise made him turn around, and he noticed Kurt coming into the room. "Hang on," he whispered to Mr. Schue. "Kurt just walked in."

He cupped a hand over the phone. "Hey Kurt!" He called. Kurt glanced up, feigning a careless smile.

"It's just…" Finn whispered into the phone, glancing up to make sure Kurt wasn't listening. "I'm _sure _I know what happened, Mr. Schue!"

"Finn…the best you can do now, without evidence, is just protecting him yourself. I'm honestly sorry, I'll try and find a way, but…" Mr. Schue trailed off, and Finn could picture the teacher pinching the bridge of his nose as he thought and worried.

Finn jumped slightly as the house phone rang behind him. Setting down his cell phone, he jabbed at the speaker button on the house phone. "Hello." He greeted.

* * *

There was a moment of silence, then what sounded like heavy breathing. Kurt glanced up, eyes wide. _Please no. Not now. _A low muffled laugh crackled through the phone. _No. _Kurt all but sprinted for the phone. "Hang up!" He pleaded. _Hang up hang up hang up._

"Why?" Asked Finn, confused.

"Just do it!" _Not soon enough. Not quick enough._

"Hey fag." Kurt squeezed his eyes shut, feeling his hands shaking. _Why now? _"It was fun visiting you earlier." Karofsky's voice floated through the sky. "It's so sad our little get together was cut short…maybe you should come over to my house tonight, so we can catch up on what's going on in our lives…who we've been _talking too…_" His voice dropped menacingly, then picked up its false-joyous tone. "Or, you know, if you don't want to come over here…I could come over there." Karofsky drew in an exaggerated sigh. "It's sad, I wouldn't want to do that but sometimes…one has to. Especially when someone doesn't follow directions. I'll be seeing you around, fag." There was muffled laughter, then a click as the call disconnected.

Kurt, eyes still closed, only vaguely aware of the pain as his fingernails dug into his palms, felt like the air was growing heavier and he couldn't breathe, and there was an invisible weight pressing down on him that he couldn't move. _Why? Why me? Of all people, why Karofsky, and why me?_

_

* * *

_

Finn gaped at the now silent phone, his mind running wildly over what he had just heard. There wasn't a doubt in his mind now about what exactly had gone down. A strangled choking noise reached his ears, and he broke out of his silent, frantic musings. Kurt stood in the center of the kitchen, eyes tightly closed, his entire body shaking as he drew in burst of rapid, shallow breath.

"Dude!" He skidded clumsily over to Kurt. "It'll be okay!"

Then, so little it was almost unnoticeable, Kurt shook his head.

Finn glanced between his cell phone and the still-as death Kurt. With one swift motion, he picked up his cell phone. "Mr. Schue?" He asked, not bothering to lower his voice this time.

"What's wrong? What happened?" The man on the other end asked, confused.

"Mr. Schue could you…..could you just….can you come over here?" Finn asked, cursing his voice for trembling.

"Finn…what the…what's going on?"

"Can you just come over?"

"Yeah, yeah sure." There was a hesitant pause. "Where do you live?"

As Finn gave him the address, he kept his eyes fixed on the boy who still stood silently in the center of the kitchen, the trembling of his lips and hands the only sign that he wasn't just a carving made of stone.

"I'll be over soon." Mr. Schue promised, and hung up.

Finn slid the phone into his pocket, and hesitantly placed a hand on Kurt's shoulder, trying to ignore the sickening feeling that twisted his gut when the teen flinched away from his touch. "Kurt, it's going to be fine," he promised, but his words sounded weak and flimsy even in his own ears.

Kurt opened his glassy eyes. "But what if it's _not_?" He asked, sounding painfully young.

Finn wrapped an arm securely around the smaller teen, trying to ignore his trembling. "Kurt…I promise you, no one will hurt you while I'm here." He guided Kurt into the living room. "But Kurt," He said seriously, meeting the other boy's eyes, "you have to tell _somebody_."

A look of panic flitted across Kurt's face, which was then carefully controlled and contorted into the normal illusion of calmness. "Tell them about what?" He asked evenly, sinking down onto the couch.

"Kurt, I know what Karofsky did. Not the time today, but the other time. The time you aren't talking about."

"How do you know?" Kurt asked in a hushed whisper.

"Dude, everyone can tell. It's just that people don't believe it…or at least, don't want to."

Kurt dropped his head into his hands. "Shit."

"What?"

In a tone so quiet Finn can barely hear it, Kurt unfolds all his fears in a single sentence. _"I thought I was invisible."_

**One more chapter! I'll try and get that up as soon as possible!**_  
_


	9. Chapter 9

**The final chapter! It's here! It's arrived! And...I sort of hate it...a lot...ANYWAY, thanks a bunch to all my reviewers, you guys have been awesome throughout this entire story, encouraging me and helping me; I love you guys! I really want to be all awesome and list your names...but that would take a while and I'm lazy. So, special thanks to those who have reviewed almost EVERY. SINGLE. CHAPTER. You know who you are. Give yourself a hug. Without further ado...here is the final chapter!**

Mr. Schue waved away the mug of hot chocolate Finn offered him. "Kurt…are you sure you want to go through with this?"

The small brunette glanced up through his strangely-disheveled hair, then just as swiftly glanced away. Biting his lip, he nodded, his head jerking like a puppet on a string. "I…I just want it to end," he admitted quietly, and Finn, sensing his distress, wrapped a comforting arm around his stepbrother, "I don't want to be scared anymore."

"You'll have to talk to them. Tell them what happened. They'll need evidence," Mr. Schue reminded him gently, leaning forward in his chair slightly, elbows resting on his knees.

Kurt closed his eyes a moment. "I know," he murmured.

"You ready, dude?" Finn asked, arm still wrapped around him, and Kurt couldn't help but let a wry grin slip onto his face at Finn's usage of the word 'dude' even in the grim situation surrounding them. He nodded.

"Come on." Mr. Schue stood up, car keys jangling in his coat pocket. "I'll drive us to the police station."

"Finn?" Kurt asked suddenly, stopping abruptly in front of the door.

"Yeah?"

"Slap me. Hard."

"Wha-"

"This was a stupid idea." Kurt turned to head back into the house, cutting across Finn's question.

"No!" Finn tightened his hold on Kurt's shoulder, football muscles effectively holding the other boy in place. He locked eyes with the smaller teen. "Kurt, dude, you've got to do this. Like you said earlier…it's better than living in fear. It's not just about you right now. It's about us, all of your friends. Don't you get it, man? We all fucking _care _about you."

* * *

_They care about him. _Kurt looks away from Finn's gaze, not daring to believe the truth he thinks he hears in the words. _They care about him. Inside, a voice challenges him to think differently. Inside, a voice reminds him of his dreams, where people pass right through him, where he's bleeding out on a sidewalk and nobody stops, where he's balanced on a window ledge, preparing to leap, and when they look up, they look right through him, seeing only the perfect blue sky and the sun that beats down, warm and pleasing, on their shoulders. _Kurt's aware of Mr. Schue's concerned gaze aimed at his back, and even more aware of Finn's hands on his shoulders, anchors holding him to the hope that he'll never be invisible. _He remembers all the dreams, all the worries. Remembers after his mother died and he thought about his own funeral; thought that nobody would show up, just the men operating the machinery to dig his grave. He remembers the feeling of disappearing into darkness, of silence suffocating him and terrifying him, unable to speak out, unable to scream out. _

"Kurt? Are you okay?" He's not sure who's asking, whether its Finn or Mr. Schue, but at the moment he doesn't care. _He remembers the dark shadow stalking him, pinning him down that cold November night, leaving him alone in the scraggly bushes until morning came and dusted his skin with dew. He remembers the cracks spreading, breaking apart. He remembers it all, and that's when he realizes. Dreams can't control him._

"Kurt?" It's Finn, definitely, and he's vaguely aware of a hand waving in front of his face. "Honestly, are you okay?" _Yes, he's okay. He's better than he's been in a long time. People noticed, people care. He's not invisible, he's not alone._

"Yeah." He looks up, a ghost of a grin flitting across his face, and he can tell the other two are probably evaluating his mental stability by this point. "Yeah, I'm okay." He gestures to the car.

* * *

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Mr. Schue asks, one last time, as he pulls into a parking space at the police station.

Kurt sits a moment, contemplating.

"Are you okay?" Finn asks, for what seems to be the millionth time.

"I'm fine." _For once, it's not a lie. _He steps out of the car, feeling the cold air on his face, the snowflakes that drift lazily down clinging to his jacket, then melting away, a temporary, bittersweet beauty. _It's not a lie. _"I'm fine."


End file.
